The One Ring is actually made out of LeVar Burton’s foreskin.

Levar Burton eats worms like you for breakfast. But afterwards he regurgitates them to feed the needy.

Levar Burton can recite Pi backwards and then bake you one, in 3.14 seconds.

Every imaginary friend is actually LeVar Burton, wearing an invisibility cloak.

LeVar Burton counts his chickens before they’re hatched. Then he doubles them.

LeVar Burton CAN tell a book by its cover. With his eyes shut.

LeVar Burton can boil a watched pot with the power of compassion.

LeVar Burton doesn’t look before he leaps. But he looks before YOU do.

Whenever a stitch in time saves nine, LeVar Burton saves ten and a half.

A penny saved is a penny that Levar Burton will use to buy a book for a poor kid.

Levar Burton doesn’t fight fire with fire. He obviates incandescent conflagration with radiantly rapid oxidation.