Tuesday, September 1, 2009

LeVar Burton is the mother, father and half-brother of invention.
The Justice League of America was a knitting club, until LeVar Burton suggested to them that it might be more interesting to fight crime.
Kafka’s “Metamorphosis” was inspired by the butterfly from Reading Rainbow.
Every dog has its day. But LeVar Burton’s dog can talk.
The novels Robinson Crusoe, Don Quixote, David Copperfield, Huckleberry Finn, Anna Karenina and Beowulf were all originally named “Levar Burton”, but had to be changed because of copyright issues.
The earth really did used to be flat, but LeVar Burton decided that spheres were more efficient.
Zorro was illiterate until LeVar Burton mentioned that it might be cool if he used a sword to carve his initials into stuff.
The pyramids were built because LeVar Burton once made an Egyptian kid read a book about the Pythagorean Theorem.
When life gives LeVar Burton lemons, he makes wisdom.

Monday, August 31, 2009

According to Newtonian physics, an object at rest, remains at rest. According to Burtonian physics, a LeVar at rest remains handsome. 
Due to an obscure 1924 publishing and anti-trust law created out of the 1907 stock-market crash panic, the title of the elements of style book LeVar & Burton was changed to Strunk & White.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

The One Ring is actually made out of LeVar Burton’s foreskin.
Levar Burton eats worms like you for breakfast. But afterwards he regurgitates them to feed the needy.
Levar Burton can recite Pi backwards and then bake you one, in 3.14 seconds.
Every imaginary friend is actually LeVar Burton, wearing an invisibility cloak.
LeVar Burton counts his chickens before they’re hatched. Then he doubles them.
LeVar Burton CAN tell a book by its cover. With his eyes shut.
LeVar Burton can boil a watched pot with the power of compassion.